How are kinship ties kept and what is the limit of cutting them off?
Short answer
Keeping kinship ties is according to custom and by what achieves kindness: good words, greeting, visiting, comforting and doing good according to ability; and there is no single time limit suitable for all people.
Evidence and explanation
The Shaykh explained that in many forms keeping and cutting ties refer to custom, and gave examples of greeting, comforting, kindness and helping the relative.
Scholar referenced
This editorial summary is based on the original source linked below and is not presented as a verbatim quotation from the scholar.
From the text of the answer (Arabic, with an English translation)
Original answer — Shaykh ‘Abd al-‘Aziz ibn Baz
كيف تكون صلة الرحم؟ وما هو حد القطيعة؟ — فتوى ٩٩٤- Question
«ما حد قطيعة الرحم؟ أعني ما هي المدة التي إذا مرت دون زيارتهم كانت قطيعة رحم؟»
English translation (unreviewed): What is the limit of cutting the ties of kinship? I mean, what period, if it passes without visiting them, counts as cutting ties?
- From the text of the answer
«ما في حد محدود، صلة الرحم بالكلام الطيب، ومواساة الفقير منهم، ورد السلام عليهم، وبداءتهم بالسلام، وإعانتهم على الخير، كل هذا من صلة الرحم. وقطيعة الرحم ما لها حد محدود، جفاؤهم الذي يعد خلاف المعتاد نوع من القطيعة، جفاؤهم من غير موجب شرعي، وعدم الإنفاق على فقيرهم، والإحسان إليه، وعدم الشفاعة لمظلومهم حتى ينصر في مظلمته، ونحو ذلك، قد يعد من القطيعة.»
English translation (unreviewed): There is no fixed limit. Maintaining ties of kinship is by good words, comforting the poor among them, returning their greetings, initiating the greeting to them, and helping them in good; all of this is maintaining kinship ties. And cutting ties has no fixed limit: coldness towards them contrary to what is customary is a kind of cutting off, coldness without a legal reason, not spending on their poor and not treating them well, not interceding for their wronged one so that he is helped against his wrong, and the like, may be counted as cutting off.
- Evidence as the shaykh cited it
«وكذلك يقول ﷺ لما قال له رجل: يا رسول الله، إن لي قرابة أصلهم، ويقطعونني، وأحلم عليهم، ويجهلون عليّ، وأحسن إليهم، ويسيئون إليّ، قال: لئن كنت كما قلت لكأنما تسفهم المل، ولا يزال معك من الله عليهم ظهير ما دمت على ذلك فالله -جل وعلا- يعينه عليهم ما دام على حاله الطيبة، ويكون بهذا هو الواصل وهم القاطعون.»
English translation (unreviewed): And likewise he ﷺ said when a man said to him: O Messenger of Allah, I have relatives with whom I keep ties and they cut me off; I am patient with them and they are ignorant towards me; I do good to them and they do evil to me. He said: “If you are as you say, it is as though you are feeding them hot ashes, and you will continue to have a supporter from Allah against them as long as you remain so.” So Allah, Mighty and Majestic, helps him against them as long as he stays in his good state, and by this he is the one who keeps ties and they are the ones who cut.
«ولو قطعوك لأجل وحشة بينك وبينهم، أو شحناء، أو خصومات لا تقطعهم أنت، لكن لك أن تهجرهم ثلاثة أيام عند الوحشة، والنزاع، والخصومات لأجل حظ الدنيا، لك أن تهجرهم ثلاثة أيام فقط، لا يزيد على ذلك؛ لأن النبي ﷺ قال: لا هجرة فوق ثلاث .»
English translation (unreviewed): And if they cut you off because of estrangement between you and them, or enmity, or disputes, do not cut them off yourself; but you may forsake them for three days when there is estrangement, dispute or quarrels over worldly gain; you may forsake them for three days only, no more than that, because the Prophet ﷺ said: “There is no forsaking beyond three [days].”
The Arabic excerpts matched the original page word for word by an automated check and have not had human scholarly review. The English translations are unreviewed translations made for this site; they are not an approved Shari‘ah translation. Rely on the Arabic original.
Source
How are kinship ties kept? And what is the limit of cutting them off?
Title of the original page (Arabic): كيف تكون صلة الرحم؟ وما هو حد القطيعة؟
Shaykh ‘Abd al-‘Aziz ibn Baz, may Allah have mercy on him